by - April 12, 2012

sometimes i hate myself for becoming so weak. I cry at night when i cannot handle everything. I feel i just wanna run from this, i just wanna have some ears to listen to me. And you should know, that you always popped up in my mind, wishing you will running to me and said everything is okay. Then i just cried more because i knew it would not happen, and started to hate everything. But then i fell asleep, and tomorrow i will smile widely like i was drunk yesterday. its like.. between i'm a very moody person or i will have my period. Haha.

I find myself missing you so much, wishing we could go for a very good date, having a good chat, and quality time together, like we used to. But i find both of us busy with our own bustle, even sometimes you're not and i am, or i am not but you are. Then i find, how selfish i am when it's about you. I placed a high expectation about what you'll say at night, or what we gonna do this weekend, therefore sometimes, i disappointed of what i got, got angry, then i just feel stupid and laugh to myself.

I am not a good talker. I am really silent. But i am a good-enough writer. Sometimes, i can't show how much i need you, how much i love you, because you know -words aren't enough for that. Sometimes i lost, and found myself wasting our precious time. I just wish you always believe that i love you so much, and never lose your trust for me. I trust you, so you can trust me like i do. I think i've found a really good partner for me, even sometimes i get very sad when you're not here with me like you used to. But i will never let you go, no matter how hard hitch will come.

Happy 9 months, Bebeb.

I hope you really get what i mean, even it's in English. It's a really amazing months to have you, almost a year since i FINALLY know you. and almost 2 years since i got wonderstruck to meet you. I love you so much. I hope the rest of our time will be better and right.

Good night :)

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