to find my passion

by - June 17, 2012

Ciao gente


this week, i spent my time by being an apprentice in some photo studio. I was absolutely not being a photographer there, because my photographs sucks and i thought i have no passion to learn some. So i was being one of their creative team, and what i did was making a new layout for baby photo shoot, for the templates. Before i went to work, i always asked myself, what makes me want to be an apprentice there? Did i just do it without any reason to make my mom happy? -yes my mom was the one who kept asking me to do some apprentice thing. Because basically, i have no passion in photography. Number two, what called apprentice is to learn something i want to do but i can't. And yeah, my work there was the same like i usually do in college, so technically, i didn't learn anything new. Just a same assignments with deadlines, even for first and second day i had nothing to do, and no deadline. I kept thinking that i was doing something wrong, i've tried to talk to my mom, but she always said that it's okay and all i need to do is just do it, no complain. Well, i didn't complain, i just delivered my thoughts, but she didn't listen to me, tho. Short story, i didn't know what possessed my mind, i said OK to the owner when he interviewed me and after that, i thought i did wrong. Why i have to be so eenie meenie to everything..

But then, i still went there everyday for a week, because since next week i will have some impromptu meeting for orientation week. The people in there made me to not think that i wrong for taking this job. They are kindly greet me and the creative teams are easy going too. So i tried to get done my tasks well instead of moan all the time. This kind of work didn't fit me well, tho. I got a super backache after day one and two, and after that, i always tried to not sit all day, maybe i could went to toilet in first floor, so it would take some time to loosen my backbone.

I had a good talk with seniors in creative room. One of them was from Sinlui too, same with me, but she had been being a former student for a long time, i think she said she was class of 199something, but she is still young. She said something that maybe i will remember for my whole life, when i have to decide what work i should take,
People said, 'Suffer first, have fun later', like an Indonesian proverb, 'Bersakit-sakit dahulu, bersenang-senang kemudian'. They said, it's like working, from Monday to Friday you will work hard and tired, then you can have fun on Saturday and Sunday. I don't want to do that. I want to have a work that i will miss even on holidays and weekends. A work that i really like, what i'm passioned about, i will do it as my work everyday, it will be so much fun. Then on weekend, i will miss my work days and wondering when i can go to work again..
That's right.
That's what i was actually trying to talk about to my mom few days ago. I want to have a work that i've dreamed of, something i passioned about. Not something that could make me look at the clock everyday, wishing it's end already. Something that even i have to do it outside of working hours, it's fine for me because it's fun. Something that can make me really happy, and i will do it for my whole life. Not because it's easy to find a job, not because the salary.

I hope i will have that job after i finished my study. Having a work instead of taking S2, i think if it is possible, it will be great. Because sometimes i think study in college takes LOTS of money. LOTS. Better generate it, not waste it :)

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