She is the apple of my eyes

by - October 19, 2012

You are the apple of my eyes, the light through the dark. I still feel you are here, but i can't resist that you are gone. 

You are the apple of my eyes, the blood through my vein. God had a different plan for you, somehow He rescued you from suffer and pain.

You are the apple of my eyes, the voices through my heart. Maybe this is the hardest way to say goodbye, but i'm sure now you're full of peace and happiness.

Many tears could not express my sadness, it's more than that. Heavy pain could not express my depression, it's more painful than this. The only thing i could wish was i wish you were here, but who can afford that? Insanity killed me. My head full of no thank statement. Yes, you are gentle and patient. You have no enemy, you are kind to everyone. This stupid horrible disease doesn't fair for you. But even i cried until my eyes bleed, no one can makes you come back. Unfortunately, i still need you here.
Somehow, the only thing that could comfort me is the thought that you are happy now. You can talk and breathe easily, you can walk easily, and that should make me happy too. I should. I should.

You should help me to arrange my life and this house. I still feel you here, unconsciously still feel you are there, in your bedroom. If i don't find you, maybe you're in the hospital. But i know, the truth is, you are in here, in my heart. Our heart.
Yes, bad people don't die easily but good people gone too fast. Life is ALWAYS unfair, right? Maybe God doesn't want to pick evils, He picks angels. And He chose you.

And in the arms of an Angel, far away from here. From this dark, cold hospital room, and the endlessness that you fear. You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie. In the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here. You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here...

Mommy, you are so pretty
We heart you, always.


R.I.P
7 October 2012

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